August 8th, 2009


From Twitter 08-07-2009

  • 08:14:12: Do the ladies find Mr. Clean attractive, or just useful?
  • 13:57:48: In my dream last night, @NowIsStrange and I were staying at a hotel where @huggythuggy was also supposed to be, but she didn't show up.
  • 13:58:30: I wonder if I should come up with an index post for my LiveJournal. I have several recurring themes on there, after all.
  • 14:00:34: Is there anywhere in America you can actually find purple mountains or alabaster cities?
  • 14:07:27: I hear that the National Forest Service is considering repealing their "don't axe, don't fell" policy.
  • 14:09:29: Why would you need to bring a concealed weapon into a national park? So you can shoot Yogi when he tries to steal your pic-a-nic basket?
  • 14:09:44: If you were to do that, Boo-Boo would be distraught!
  • 14:10:14: I know the Jonas Brothers all wear purity rings, but which is the one ring to rule them all?
  • 14:13:37: @TarynAria Where's a hobbit when you need one?
  • 14:20:18: @JaredofMo Personally, I worship ferries. Anything that can take me across a body of water without my feet getting wet MUST be divine!
  • 14:20:50: Those were some good Bertucci's leftovers.
  • 14:21:24: Damn it, LiveJournal! Stop going down!
  • 14:43:53: It's crazy how, in the demo tape version of TMBG's "The Day," they left in the sound of the tape stopping.
  • 15:06:12: I just knocked a stack of CDs onto the floor. I hope those unlabeled ones that cracked weren't anything important.
  • 15:10:33: I sometimes think spammers should be shot without trial. Especially the really lazy ones who just spam everyone with no research.
  • 15:11:35: Of course, as a firm believer in due process, I couldn't REALLY support that.
  • 16:55:01: @TGWTG Only three humans? How many monkeys got it, then?
  • 16:56:46: Attention, little girls! The Best Kept Secret Farm is giving away a free pony!
  • 16:57:44: When Neko Case sings "This Little Light," how come she doesn't include the "Hide it under a bushel? NO!" part?
  • 19:25:14: Why would anyone WANT to claim haggis as their own?
  • 19:26:23: There's no chin under Chuck Norris' beard, just...a list of right-wing fundamentalist talking points.
  • 19:39:06: Obama is the Antichrist!
  • 19:40:09: Seriously, that guy's word games are worse than those of Adam West's Batman. To the Christmobile!
  • 20:12:13: @twobitme Lollapalooza still exists? I thought that went out with the .com bubble.
  • 20:17:12: @oz_diggs I think the amount of book-related material on the Internet has fortuitously increased in recent years.
  • 20:18:51: @3x1minus1 You'll change your mind when you have a kid. :P
  • 20:22:05: @JaredofMo I'm just going to go through life assuming I'm the Antichrist. If I'm wrong, that's all the better, isn't it?
  • 20:23:36: @poisonyoulove No, GI Joe is government-run, so the Republicans and Blue Dogs wouldn't approve.
  • 20:54:55: We're off to Atlantic City, but I don't know that we'll be doing any gambling.

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I performed acts of devotion as if you were Ganesh

While the Egyptian pantheon is full of gods with both human and animal features, it's much more rare among the Hindus. Garuda is often shown as part bird and part human, but the most prominent Hindu deity to be portrayed as part animal is, of course, Ganesh, usually shown as a fat guy with an elephant's head, and only one tusk intact. There are a few different myths for how Ganesh ended up with the head of a pachyderm, the most popular being that Parvati had the young Ganesh (to whom she gave birth without a man being involved) guard the bathroom while she was bathing, and her husband Shiva, being annoyed that this kid was blocking his access to his own bathroom and wife, beheaded the lad. At Parvati's insistence, he went on to replace the boy's head with that of an elephant (how it fit so well being another issue entirely). Another origin story for the head is that Parvati insisted that all of the gods look at Ganesh when he was born, and Shani's evil eye destroyed the young deity's original pate.

Ganesh is often portrayed as riding on a mouse or rat, and is said to have broken off one of his tusks in order to transcribe the Mahabharata. He is worshipped as the remover of obstacles and patron of arts and sciences, and is generally invoked at the beginning of a chant.


Twelve Things I Hate About Health Care

Sarah Palin has joined the crowd of people who are claiming that Obama's health plan involves creating a board that determines whether or not the old and the sick deserve to live. I've heard so many people parroting the same tired arguments about why national health care is a bad idea (the main one being that people will have to wait for emergency medical procedures, because that apparently NEVER happens under our current system :P), but this one really takes the cake. I have to wonder if fans of Fox News and Sarah Palin will believe ANYTHING that basically fits with their already established viewpoints. So here are some other rumors about Obama's health plan. Spread these around, and see how long it takes for Sean Hannity and Glenn Beck to start claiming that they're real.

1. Not only will you have to wait months for a heart transplant, but there will also be a disco dance contest for heart patients. Only the five best (as chosen by a panel made up of Paula Abdul, Louis Farrakhan, and KC from the Sunshine Band) will be allowed to receive transplants.

2. All hospitals will be required to include members of the ACLU and ACORN on their directorial boards.

3. Euthanasia machines will be placed in public school nurses' offices, to be used by students who are worried about their bad grades.

4. Medical marijuana will be not only legal, but mandatory for all Americans. Cigars, on the other hand, will be banned.

5. Starting at the age of two, children will be given weekly doses of Viagra. Also, a twelve-pack of condoms will be given to every new baby at birth.

6. Heterosexual sex will only be permitted twice a year, on the summer and winter solstices, and only with a signed note from the local Sex Enforcement Board.

7. Elected representatives from Compton and East St. Louis will raid Rush Limbaugh's medicine cabinet once a month.

8. All privately owned guns will be confiscated and given to doctors, so that they can shoot children with Down Syndrome.

9. In order to pay for the plan, a 100% tax rate will be instituted on anyone who has ever voted Republican.

10. The new mandatory treatment for the flu will consist of drinking diet soda mixed with ashes from burnt-up Bibles and American flags.

11. The blood of anyone who waits until marriage to have sex will be drawn and drunk by Angelina Jolie.

12. All SUVs will be melted down to make needles for required injections of a fluid that gives people both heroin addiction and an overwhelming need to see George Clooney movies.
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