September 17th, 2009



  • 00:04 @JaredofMo Eh, at least they're not Fed Ex. #
  • 00:05 I just got back from seeing Scott McCaughey and Steve Wynn live in Philadelphia. More details to follow in my journal. #
  • 00:09 RT @jfruh Today's award for most moronic spelling/capitalization of a company's name: "GyPSii" ( #
  • 00:13 @margaretcho The iPod or the toilet? #
  • 00:14 @MarzGurlProd Does it come with a sitar? #
  • 00:15
    A Birther sounds like it should be someone who has a lot of babies. Then again, a lot of self-identified Birthers probably do that as well. #
  • 00:16 Personally, I belong to a small fringe group that believes Obama wasn't born at all. #
  • 08:11 Maybe the Minus 5 should play an in-store at a Five Below. #
  • 10:42 My dream involved a song that was somehow a mix of the Cheers theme and TMBG's "Upside Down Frown." #
  • 19:51 @3x1minus1 I don't think I've ever seen her in anything. But I've never been that great at keeping up on actors. #
  • 20:38 @timheidecker I think she'd be cool with it. #
  • 20:45 @eehouls @NowIsStrange tells me that Tom didn't even bounce around in his chair and talk about how psychiatry is bullshit. What a gyp! #
  • 20:46 @TheRealTavie @eehouls I think a few people who are a week or so shy of their 60th birthday might be watching. #
  • 22:18 Photo: #
  • 22:22 Photo: I keep telling myself I’m not going to post any more Kanye pictures, and then something like this...
  • 22:43 Does the proposed tax on "juice drinks and sodas" cover actual juice? #
  • 22:44 I actually drink a lot more soda now than I used to, because juice is too sugary to drink as often as I did in the past. #
  • 22:52 @PressTheButtons There aren't too many places I can think of where I'd rather not go than Bowser's ass. Okay, maybe King Hippo's ass. #
  • 22:54 Jay Leno, your Schwarzenegger impression sucks. Not that I could do better, but I don't try doing it on TV for, like, two minutes. #
  • 22:58 If you're going to do a joke about a c
    lassic with mom-sex, wouldn't "Oedipus Rex" be the obvious choice? #
  • 23:00 Rachel Maddow always looks amused. #
  • 23:01 @eehouls I think that's the case with everybody's dreams. #
  • 23:36 Photo: samuraifrog: #
  • 23:43 Photo: samuraifrog: #
Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter

Thursdays with Moroni, Part 7: It Is Finished

I have finally finished reading the Book of Mormon, and I can't say it was a particularly enjoyable read. But I suppose I should finish up my review, even though the last few books are really quite confusing. Well, okay, the book of Mormon (yes, there's a Book of Mormon WITHIN the Book of Mormon; how's that for complicated?) isn't so bad. It merely continues the narrative from the last book, describing how the fourth century was marked by all-out wars between the different groups of descendants of Lehi. Yeah, that sounds a lot like the rest of Joseph Smith's imaginary history, doesn't it? Smith also continues his odd habit of referring to all of Judea as "the land of Jerusalem," and reiterates how the tablets were written in Reformed Egyptian because Hebrew wouldn't fit, which doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

The next book, that of Ether, provides a lot of history with no real context. Maybe I missed something, but it's not clear when all of the kings mentioned in this chapter actually ruled. We are, however, given many curious anecdotes, including that King Emer had elephants, and King Riplakish established debtors' prisons. We're also told of a character referred to as "the brother of Jared," apparently because his own name isn't important, even though he's the one on whom the story focuses. This brother built barges under the direction of God, made a mountain called Zerin vanish, and saw the Lord's flesh-and-blood finger. The title character is a prophet, who predicted that the New Jerusalem will be built on England's green and pleasant land in America.
The same guy spent some time hiding out from his persecutors inside a rock. And we meet a ruthless war leader named Shiz, who is eventually killed by someone named Coriantumr. Was the former commander the source for the name of the Gillikin city in Wicked? I couldn't say.

The last book is a short one that gives rules for the Church of Latter-Day Saints to follow, most of which aren't particularly different from those of other Christian denominations. We are told that Mormons support infant baptism, though. The Book of Mormon as a whole ends slightly after 420 AD, but this wasn't the end of Smith's writings. I think I'm going to take a break from the whole Mormon scene before even attempting the Pearl of Great Price, however. Actually, I'd appreciate any input into what religious text I should try reading next, even though it might be a little while before I start on any of them.

Also, as a bonus, because I don't feel like making another post about it, I'm going to describe my dream from last night. I really can't remember the order, and I think there were occasional callbacks anyway, which makes the whole situation that much more confusing. I believe it started out as another dream about being back in high school and not being prepared for my math final. Also, there was something about not having a German final at all because of the way the exam schedule was arranged, and I was wondering why the teacher hadn't already given it. I was at my dad's old house, looking for something to eat and getting ready to drive to school (when, in reality, it wasn't until after college that I even learned how to drive). My mom called to tell me that it was really icy outside, which worried me until I realized that it didn't make any sense for there to be ice on the roads in June. Later (or perhaps earlier; I already told you that I can't remember the order), I took a bus to a Sunday School picnic, and found out that another bus that was supposed to join us had gotten into a wreck. At some point, a guy in a Devil costume stepped on me, and the kids at the picnic (including me) crawled through a cave. This somehow changed into a house with secret passages (like in Clue, I guess), and some kid wanting me to help him use a secret passage to play a joke on the person in the room at the other end. As it turned out, though, the other guy was one step ahead of the kid, and used first a chair and then some Homer Simpson toy to block the passage. Also in the dream was something about Christmas, and having to clean up after it was over. Somebody was trying to make me sort through old cassettes, but I came to realize this was a dream and I didn't have to spend it cleaning up. So I left the house and hitched a ride with a girl in a Jeep-like vehicle. I guess I didn't have as much control over the dream as I had hoped, however, as we were soon attacked by a gang. I think we got away from them, but I don't remember there being any more to the dream after that.

A Wizard of Vegetables

The Captain N cartoon series raises a lot of questions in the minds of its viewers, from "Why the hell is Mega Man a tiny green chain smoker?" to "Does Kid Icarus really have to say 'icus' that much, and why does everyone call him by the name of his game when the character is actually named Pit?" to "What is this show, and why does it even exist?" The answer to that last question is obviously "to sell more Nintendo games," but you'd think Nintendo could have at least contributed a fact-checker in exchange for all the advertising. As I've mentioned before, though, the show was such a significant part of my early teenage years that I'm willing to cut it some slack. That doesn't mean I don't have to wonder about what was going through the writers' heads when they came up with certain aspects, however. For one thing, why was one of Mother Brain's main henchmen a generic enemy from Kid Icarus?

Actually, in some ways, the Brain didn't make such a bad choice, as all indications are that Eggplant Wizards are quite difficult enemies. Not only do they take a lot of hits before going down, but they can turn Pit into an eggplant that can move, but not attack. And in the show, he has the ability to do a lot of other magic involving vegetables. In fact, he's shown as being quite powerful, and might have proven to be an asset to the forces of evil if it weren't for the fact that he suffered from the typical cartoon henchman affliction of being stupid as all get-out.

There's still the question as to how the game designers came up with the idea of an Eggplant Wizard in the first place. Isn't Kid Icarus supposed to be at least loosely based on Greek mythology? According to Wikipedia, eggplants are native to India, and weren't known in Europe until the Middle Ages. Wouldn't a Cucumber Wizard have fit the theme better?

In one of the Captain N comics, there was a story about an island near Mount Olympus inhabited entirely by live fruits and vegetables, which could easily have been the origin of the Eggplant Wizards (and the one serving as Mother Brain's henchman has a significant role in the comic). Of course, there's no indication of this place in the actual game, but that's really the case for most of the Captain N comics. At least the show usually used actual characters and settings from the games, even if they never looked right. Anyway, most of the comics are available online, so I might have to review them at some point. One thing they DID do correctly was adding in Samus Aran as a character.