April 6th, 2010

wart

Twitterpated

  • 04:33 Photo: fuckyeahburlesque: tumblr.com/xpy88c0os #
  • 08:41 He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind. Which is a pretty sweet inheritance. I wouldn't mind having my own wind! #
  • 08:43 When people predict that the Temple in Jerusalem will be rebuilt, do they also think animal sacrifice will be reinstituted? #
  • 13:40 Why do I keep forgetting to get my blood drawn? #
  • 14:19 Photo: Here’s my post on Ozian chickens, focusing, of course, on Billina. tumblr.com/xpy88vps6 #
  • 14:21 Whoever came up with the idea of chicken wings being a great snack is a genius. I wonder if I can sell the public on hog snouts. #
  • 14:21 Not that I really have anything against wings. I just don't like the dipping sauces. Also, I tend to associate them with football. #
  • 14:25 It's too bad orange juice tastes so good, considering its high sugar content. #
  • 14:26 I guess I could just eat more oranges, but it's not exactly the same. #
  • 14:44 The argument that Twitter is stupid because what people say is unimportant is so stupid. Isn't most communication like that? #
  • 14:45 "What's t
    he point in writing letters? If something is important, the town crier will let me know about it!" #
  • 14:49 @juliasegal The hierarchy is actions, then words, then swords, then sticks and stones. #
  • 14:51 @kittysneezes Kids Like You #
  • 14:51 @HenryBarajas How many Justin Bieber and Twilight posters did you have to flip through before finding that? #
  • 14:54 @gilibugg I guess it's not a whole lot different, except I don't have to give a priest part of my burger. #
  • 15:25 Photo: dariuswhiteplume: tumblr.com/xpy88y7vn #
  • 16:40 @TheRealTavie Neither is anyone else. It's a lousy job market. #
  • 18:58 @JaredofMo A fish can't whistle, and neither can I. #
  • 19:30 Now THIS is classy! (Don't look if you don't want to run the risk of throwing up.) www.ep.tc/obamunism.html #
  • 20:37 Hey, news media, here's an idea. How about NOT letting Tiger Woods have a press conference whenever he feels like it? #
  • 20:45 I think "recalculating" is the GPS's way of laughing at me. #
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Woozy

Gettin' Foxy on Your Ass


We move on from chickens to foxes, turning to the city of Foxville, introduced in The Road to Oz. And discussing Foxville pretty much necessitates also delving into its neighboring city, Dunkiton. These two towns are also located outside of Oz, south of the Great Sandy Waste, but they still have talking animals. Foxville is a quite beautiful and cultured city, full of marble buildings decorated with images of fowl, and with its own theater. The foxes who inhabit the city walk upright, dress in fancy clothes, and are apparently about the size of humans. Their ruler is the bespectacled King Renard IV, who claims that his name is pronounced "with the accent on the 'ren,'" although it seems to me like its derivation from French would suggest otherwise. His private name is Dox, and it's this that his friends usually call him. The Fox King was so impressed by Button-Bright's youthful curiosity and unassuming manner that he magically gave the boy a fox head, which he only managed to change it back by bathing in the Truth Pond.


Thinking of Foxville in combination with this April Fool's joke mentioning Megan Fox playing Dorothy made me think that, if she plays any Oz role (and I'd rather she didn't play any role at all; seriously, what's her appeal?), it should be one of King Dox's daughters. Then again, any new movie would probably make the foxes CGI, so I guess she wouldn't be recognizable. Maybe I should just slip a quick pop culture reference into one of my own stories, with the King having a daughter named Megan who's absurdly skinny. Maybe she's on a no-poultry diet. :P


Anyway, moving on to Dunkiton, it's a much less impressive-looking city than its neighbor. It's made up of low, square houses of whitewashed brick, scattered all over the town. The donkey inhabitants insist that they're intelligent enough not to need an organized city. The donkeys claim to be the smartest creatures in the world, but it's clear that they're somewhat deluded as to how intelligence actually works. They don't attend school because they say they're born wise, so the children are kept occupied in whitewashing the walls. While they do have the ability to read and write, they're not very good at it. Still, they've done pretty well for themselves given their limitations, being able to use their hooves for various tasks that might usually require hands. Unlike the foxes, the only clothes they wear are hats and leg jewelry. The king of the city, Kik-a-bray, seems to be a more accomplished magician than King Dox, using his jeweled staff to make food, among other things. The Donkey King was just as impressed by the Shaggy Man as the Fox King was by Button-Bright, so he followed in Puck's footsteps in giving Shaggy a donkey head.


Ozma invites both of the monarchs to her birthday party, and while their cities are traditional enemies, the kings actually end up getting along very well. Whether or not this leads to improved relations between the foxes and donkeys isn't discussed.