September 22nd, 2011


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I Pledge Allegiance to the Flag of the United Lands of Dinosaur World

I'm always having dreams about going back to either high school or college, and last night was no exception. I was taking a whole bunch of college classes, and I was horribly disorganized. Mind you, this was the case when I really was in school, but it was even worse in the dream. I wasn't keeping track of my schedule, or of when assignments were due. The most interesting bit was that one of my classes, which was for theater or something (I never really took any theater classes) was taught by Amanda Palmer.

Speaking of unqualified teachers, here are the final two episodes of the Super Mario World cartoon:

A Little Learning - In this one, the Princess is working as a schoolteacher in Dome City, teaching kids including Yoshi and Oogtar. Was she doing this job and working as an operator at the same time? Do the kids get the day off when she's kidnapped by Bowser? And what's happening to her own kingdom while she's hanging out in Dinosaur Land? These questions aside, it's not a bad idea. When Oogtar arrives for school, he gives the Princess an apple that has a tiny Wiggler inside, which Peach calls a "worm." Let's hope she's not teaching zoology. Hip and Hop Koopa, seeing the opportunity to pull some pranks, decide they want to attend school. Their father forbids it, but they go behind his back and enter the classroom right when the Princess is leading her students in the Pledge of Allegiance "to the flag of the United Lands of Dinosaur World."

What IS the governmental system there, anyway? Oogtar does his best to get the new students into trouble, but it's not like they can't handle this task perfectly well themselves, as when they throw fireballs around at recess. They kept these in their backpacks, which makes me wonder what they're made of. An unspecified amount of time passes, and the Princess declares that there will be a science fair. Hip and Hop's exhibit appears to be one of those vinegar-and-baking-soda volcanoes, but it's actually hooked up to a magma pit in the Valley of Bowser. King Koopa discovers this and learns that his youngest sons had sneaked off to school. In the mayhem that follows, the volcano erupts and everyone runs away to a song that's sort of reminiscent of "Rock 'n' Roll High School." Mario reroutes the pipe to Bowser's bedroom, and that's the end of that episode.

It's interesting that Mario and Luigi had a fairly minor role in this one, and the latter didn't even have any lines. I wouldn't have minded seeing a little more of the Princess in her teacher role, but there's only one episode left, and it's mostly a flashback.

Mama Luigi - Finally, we get the story of how the Mario team arrived in Dinosaur Land in the first place, in the form of a bedtime story that Luigi tells Yoshi. The green-clad plumber says that they went there for a vacation after they'd banished Bowser from the Mushroom Kingdom. Yeah, don't show us how they managed to do that or anything. King Koopa apparently arrived in Dinosaur Land before the Marios did, and he has Chargin' Chucks capture the Princess. Luigi is confronted by a Sumo Brother who isn't on a platform, so his stomping just opens up the ground below him. In either a bizarre coincidence or a careful plan on the Sumo's part, there's a long vertical drop right below where the ground opens, and Luigi lands on a balloon that helps him descend. After a short ride on a skull raft, Luigi arrives on a platform, and hits the blocks above it. One of them contains Yoshi's egg, which for some reason has red spots even though Yoshi is green.

The baby dinosaur imprints onto his rescuer, and starts calling him "Mama Luigi," hence the episode title. Luigi runs into two dinosaurs, and initially thinks Yoshi is their baby (they're obviously of a totally different species, but I think we can cut the plumber some slack here), but runs away into a warp pipe when he learns they actually want to eat him.

They call the baby a "Yoshisaur," which is presumably how Luigi knows the newborn Yoshi's name. The Brooklynite ends up in a water world, where he dodges a Rip Van Fish and some Porcu-Puffers, and has the help of dolphins in escaping a Torpedo Ted. When they reach the shore, Luigi and Yoshi find themselves surrounded by Wigglers, which the dinosaur promptly eats.

It's at this point that Mario shows up, saying he's escaped from Bowser's "Coney Island Disco Palace," and that he wants to return with Luigi to rescue the Princess. Actually, before he can relay this information, he's eaten by Yoshi, but the dinosaur decides he doesn't like the taste. The three make it into the Neon Castle, and during the song, Luigi is crushed by a giant spike and flattened. Mario reinflates him with a balloon, which is really more the sort of physics you'd see in a Wario game, but I don't think those existed yet at this point. When they reach the throne room, Yoshi eats everything in sight, including the throne. Bowser shows up and sends Mechakoopas after the intruders, but Yoshi eats those as well. He then uses his tongue to take a key from King Koopa's hand, and spitting it into a keyhole results in him, Mario, Luigi, and the Princess all returning to Dome City. Boy, these magic keys sure are convenient! Note that Dome City was deserted when the Marios got there, and there's no indication as to what happened to the cave people or how they were restored. Yeah, I know the focus of this episode was the bond between Luigi and Yoshi, but it left a lot of unanswered questions. Also perhaps worth mentioning is that the baby Yoshi eats more than five enemies, but doesn't grow to full size.

One thing I never really got about the Mario cartoons is why they never really had proper season premieres or finalés. The Writers' Bible for the Super Mario Bros. 3 cartoon reports that Bowser had been sent to a Banishment Zone but managed to escape, but we never see this. Why aren't Mouser and Triclyde working for him anymore, and why did he suddenly start involving his kids in his schemes? This could have made for an interesting transitional episode, but we didn't get anything of the sort. Yeah, I'm probably asking too much of a cheap cartoon cooked up to advertise Nintendo games, but it's not like that would have taken any more work than any other episode, right?

Anyway, since that's it for this show, here's a poll to see what I should cover next. I doubt anyone really cares, but if you have any opinion at all, you might as well voice it.

Poll #1780630 Nintendo-Related Media

Did you ever watch any of these Nintendo cartoons?

All the time!
I probably saw a few minutes here and there.

Do you read my reviews of these cartoons?

I've read all of them.
From time to time, if I'm bored enough.
Not at all.

What Nintendo media should I cover next?

Super Mario Bros. Super Show
Legend of Zelda cartoon
Nintendo Comics System
Other (explain in comments)
Nothing! Stop clogging my friends page with this crap!